Mud Monsters 2021

***Mud Pit Warning***

Beware of the boogeyman He is real and he is hiding in the mud pits waiting to get you!

Hold on … that’s not the boogeyman. It’s just Wedson!

Obviously bored by our slow progress, he amused himself by submerging in the mud pools and leaping out.

Oh – and sorry to the poor lady he thought was me! You’re just lucky he didn’t give you a muddy hug too.

Now, have you ever asked your self how many different types of mud there are?

No – it’s not a question I have ever really pondered either. However on the Mud Monsters Run, Aga carried out a detailed analysis of each and every mud pit, pool and pond and concludes 133! This has got to be without a doubt, the muddiest mud run in existence.

Of course, having done the Mud Monster Run quite a few times you would think I would know this … so why on earth I chose white T-shirts for the S&C Spartans is beyond me. Still – I looked good in white for the two minutes it lasted.

Prior to the event, and yet curiously after signing up, Spartan Ledina asked ‘if there was any mud’.

I remember looking at her with wide-eyed disbelief whilst seeking further clarification to this question …. ‘You mean at the MUD run????’

‘I don’t like mud’ she confided. Now I have to say I believe this to be a total lie.

The first obstacle was a mud pit staircase and after being knee deep in mud (or chin deep for Ledina who isn’t very tall) she leapt out and with her hands waving frantically in the air, screamed ‘I love this’ and then tore off to throw herself in the next mud pit leaving us all somewhat bewildered.

Elsewhere on the course our other two nutcases were hurtling around, pushing people out of the way in their eagerness to seek out sludge.

Slightly less enthusiastically, the rest of us approached the course with respectful trepidation. ‘At least I don’t need to worry anymore’ said Aga. ‘If I do 💩 myself no one will ever know!’

One of the more memorable obstacles had the option of two steep and slippery mud slides ending in a ‘mud porridge’ as Svetlana calls it. One slide had a brick half way down and the other was the butt splitter with a stick sticking out of the centre. Choices choices!

I suspect Jurgen chose the butt splitter and was suffering the consequences. We hope it was only his shorts being remodelled and that everything else remained intact. I presume Daniel can confirm?

The obstacle village is where the men are separated from boys – as Joe shows us. My life is he strong.

There is an easy option that you can walk across or the swing bars and hang rope which causes every muscle to burn.

Or then again, you could just take a seat and chill out and watch the world go by. Looks like Aga and T are only missing a glass of Prosecco? How hard can all this mud running stuff be hey?

I think this was the half way point and we were all going strong and ready for the final 2.5k

Actually – the obstacles are seriously testing. The 20ft high tyre wall proved a real challenge for everyone.

Ledina got half way up and decided it was just too difficult. I made one of the bravest decisions of my life and one which I promised I would never recount until now of course.

I placed my hands on Ledina’s buttocks and refused to let her come back down! There was only one way out of this embarrassing situation and that was to go over the tyre wall.

She did it and got a great photo to boot.

Aga also got a great photo at the top of the tyre wall however, as she was about to get her leg over, she slipped and fell right from the top. You can tell she has been taking lessons from her cats though as she landed squarely in her feet and continued as if nothing had happened.

Alex, leapt the wall in one simple bound and then berated Agron and Markos for messing around at the top. Yikes – I’m glad I wasn’t in their team.

After a gruelling couple of hours we all made it to the finish line where we picked up and proudly displayed our medals and muscles.

This just leaves me to thank the wonderful marshals yet again. They were just as good as ever and our thanks go in particular to jelly baby lady. We LOVE you and to Alex who took this photo of the team on his own phone! 🥰

Sadly, there were no showers this year but we were well prepared with buckets of water and sponges and even a wash assistant who did an amazing job providing us with beers and cocktails at the end.

So a little muddier than usual, we headed off to The Wiremill Pub for a Sunday Roast.

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